Updated: Nov 8, 2021
HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE PAST? What would you say to your younger self? What would he or she say to you now?
What advise would you give them?
What insight would would they give you?
So often we think about our childhood experiences and feel like we had no control and we ask ourselves why things happen the way they did? We reflect back and ask ourselves what we could have done differently.
If only things would have been like this or like that! If only he or she...., If only I could have...and so on. why do we do that to ourselves?
It's because we think we could have control over it NOW or some how we can change it! We're WRONG!
The Past is over and all we're doing is retelling a story about it over and over in our minds. We don't even realize it's a story that made up based on our perception of the truth from the perspective of a child! Is it even true? Remember whisper down the lane? It's when a message is passed on by a number of people and the final message is radically changed from the original. Any situation where information is passed on a number of times, it becomes distorted in the process. It's the same thing that happens when we tell our own story over and over even if only to ourselves. Think about it, recall a specific event or moment and all your memories around it. Now go share it with another person that was there, I'll bet they don't remember it the same. There's stories that we tell ourselves over and over that aren't even true.
Here's a great personal example:
I've shared a story of an amazing birthday party I went to that I said was the best party I ever went to when I was a little girl. I wasn't allowed to attend many parties as my parents weren't comfortable in a new country. They let me go tubing down the Delaware River - Best Party Ever! 35 years later I reconnected with my girlfriend who's party it was! I brought up in front of both our families how amazing it was. I shared that it one of the highlights of my childhood and she instantly said "I was so mad at you, I didn't even want you to come"! I was like WHAT???? You can imagine how confused I was and her mom said I was crying and she forced my girlfriend to let me come.
WOW... It was one of my best childhood memories and was also the one memory that stood out to her all these years that she was so mad at me!
Very interesting! YES, some of our experiences were challenging or unpleasant and YES, some of them were down right horrible. Now What?
Here's the good news! It's OVER! Today, your past no longer exits except in your mind. All you have now are your CURRENT thoughts about your PAST!
The past is in your memories and your future is in your imagination, no matter which one we're thinking about, we're doing BOTH from our currents thought about it NOW. The past is over and no longer affects you - It's your current thoughts about your past and they do affect you.
Everything we think about today in this moment affects us deeply. This is a huge concept to understand! If all of the sudden you got amnesia and lost all your memory, no mater how wonderful or Horrible your past was, it wouldn't matter. THIS IS GREAT NEWS!
We get to decide how we want to think about our past. We can tell whatever story we want about it. We get to choose what we want our story to be. You might think this is delusional or fantasy but isn't it anyway? I showed you how a lot of our recollection of our perceived isn't accurate either.
The truth is whatever version we tell ourselves good or bad, that's the one we're going to use either in favor of ourselves or against ourselves.
We either use our story to give us self-confidence, healthy relationships, and all around success in life or to suffer with anxiety, depression, have low self worth, unhealthy relationships and a scarcity mindset in our lives.
So let your inner child know everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to and you are right where you need to be.
Start telling yourself a new story! One that serves you in a way that supports you in achieving a life where you are living the best version of yourself.
No matter what version of your story you've been telling yourself, let me show you how to retell your story where you are the HERO and NOT the VICTIM!